Behind the wheel.
One of the things I managed to do before my trip to the States was replace my driver's license, which M had stolen/thrown away/defaced/coveted in order to piss me off, as a typical NPD is wont to do.
My traveler's insurance also covered personal damages and liability in case of an accident, so I was able to convince my ma to lend me the car.
I didn't tell her it had been 5 years since I had last sat behind the wheel.
I've got to be honest here. I miss it. Especially the feel of driving a manual transmission. Happily, I had no problem driving, and never had a moment of insecurity, except perhaps for the first 5 minutes. It's like riding a bicycle or making love... you never forget how. Though for the latter, I should say (or maybe not as the case may be) that I haven't had much chance to get out of practice -- my longest periods of celibacy since I first made love to a woman were probably about a year in 1995 and 3 months in 2001.
But back to the car... oh yeah, I was also reminded recently that I HAVE indeed made love in a moving automobile -- stretch limousine to be precise -- bringing my current tally up to four modes of transport (yes the airplane attempt was a success - read about it in my AFF blog).
But back to the car... It was fun driving again, reliving some of my past glories down Pacific Coast Highway through Laguna, the cool wind in my hair and some tunes on the radio, with the woman I love at my side. There are some things that definitely make life worth living.
Can't wait to make another trip to Vegas. I used to go about every six months or so, and I absolutely LOVE the drive up through the desert. I'm planning on going back to the States for two weeks at the same time next year, and a lost weekend in Vegas is definitely on the itinerary.
Anyway, I'm still missing the States a little. It's really the first time since 1997 that I've missed the States at all. I especially miss it now that I'm with someone I'd love to live there with. It's funny, but I didn't really feel that way about M... and I never really felt like I wanted to marry M, except perhaps in panic when everything went so horribly wrong... and when I was with J I was just a mess, so nothing I might have said at that time and shortly thereafter can really be taken seriously.
Yeah marry. I think I'm going to marry Fanny. And I'm 100% certain that it's going to last. We've actually been talking a lot about it lately.
That's the thing about relationships. It's really not enough just to be happy with someone, in the "here and now". You can never really be happy until you're with someone, and untiil you're totally secure in the feeling that it's going to last. And only when you have that feeling should you even contemplate marriage.
I hope everyone has the chance to feel that way about someone. To be honest, it's the second time for me. At the time, I did think things with Cathine were going to last, which is why, during the time when I was the most balanced in my life, I married her. But in hindsight, which is always 20/20, had I had more experience in love, I might not have made that decision under the same circumstances, as there were signs I should have noticed.
No signs this time. :)
Except this one:
My traveler's insurance also covered personal damages and liability in case of an accident, so I was able to convince my ma to lend me the car.
I didn't tell her it had been 5 years since I had last sat behind the wheel.
I've got to be honest here. I miss it. Especially the feel of driving a manual transmission. Happily, I had no problem driving, and never had a moment of insecurity, except perhaps for the first 5 minutes. It's like riding a bicycle or making love... you never forget how. Though for the latter, I should say (or maybe not as the case may be) that I haven't had much chance to get out of practice -- my longest periods of celibacy since I first made love to a woman were probably about a year in 1995 and 3 months in 2001.
But back to the car... oh yeah, I was also reminded recently that I HAVE indeed made love in a moving automobile -- stretch limousine to be precise -- bringing my current tally up to four modes of transport (yes the airplane attempt was a success - read about it in my AFF blog).
But back to the car... It was fun driving again, reliving some of my past glories down Pacific Coast Highway through Laguna, the cool wind in my hair and some tunes on the radio, with the woman I love at my side. There are some things that definitely make life worth living.
Can't wait to make another trip to Vegas. I used to go about every six months or so, and I absolutely LOVE the drive up through the desert. I'm planning on going back to the States for two weeks at the same time next year, and a lost weekend in Vegas is definitely on the itinerary.
Anyway, I'm still missing the States a little. It's really the first time since 1997 that I've missed the States at all. I especially miss it now that I'm with someone I'd love to live there with. It's funny, but I didn't really feel that way about M... and I never really felt like I wanted to marry M, except perhaps in panic when everything went so horribly wrong... and when I was with J I was just a mess, so nothing I might have said at that time and shortly thereafter can really be taken seriously.
Yeah marry. I think I'm going to marry Fanny. And I'm 100% certain that it's going to last. We've actually been talking a lot about it lately.
That's the thing about relationships. It's really not enough just to be happy with someone, in the "here and now". You can never really be happy until you're with someone, and untiil you're totally secure in the feeling that it's going to last. And only when you have that feeling should you even contemplate marriage.
I hope everyone has the chance to feel that way about someone. To be honest, it's the second time for me. At the time, I did think things with Cathine were going to last, which is why, during the time when I was the most balanced in my life, I married her. But in hindsight, which is always 20/20, had I had more experience in love, I might not have made that decision under the same circumstances, as there were signs I should have noticed.
No signs this time. :)
Except this one:
Labels: personal, psychology, relationships, travel
posted by tonton | 1:04 pm
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home