Life's Passions

In my darkest hour last year, when I really felt on the edge, there were a few things that helped me to hang in there, and not give up. Of course, the most important of those was my daughter, Jeannie, whom I love more than anything. No matter how cruel life (and people) could be, I couldn't pass that cruelty on to this wonderful, innocent, and perfect little girl by denying her a loving father.

The other thing that kept me going was thinking about my passions in life. I think about what the things are that I love most in life, and how would I feel to never be able to experience those things again.

Not everybody has something as wonderful as a perfect child or a loving spouse, but most, if not all of us, have something in life that we're truly passionate about.

To some those passions might be the feeling of success in their career, creating artowrk, spending time with their families, having mindblowing sex, simply relaxing in a warm bath... etc.

To me, my passions are simple.

1. A warm embrace and a soft kiss from someone who loves me.

2. A day at the beach.

3. Buying gifts for myself, and for those I love.

4. Gadgets, gadgets, gadgets... iPods, cameras, computers...

5. Writing a particularly poignant essay on whatever is on my mind.

6. Going out on the town with my girlfriend (or wife) dressed to the nines (or at least hot enough to make me blush).

7. Taking photos of the ones I love.

The idea that if I left this world today, I would never be able to experience those passions is a very strong source of motivation to keep "rambling on".

Now, my life is going so well, I don't have to concentrate on these things to keep going any more. I have a wonderful girlfriend who loves me, today, right now, and in the foreseeable future. I have been spending quality time with my daughter, and contributing quite a bit more than what's required to her expenses, and to her future. I have a great job (2 great jobs) and a sustainable income that's higher than I've ever had in the past. I've got all the gadgets I want the most, or will soon have them (still on my list a new underwater camera, and an 80GB or higher iPod). I've got a great home and everything is in its right place (still upset that I've lost two very dear friends though -- though I'm still hoping I may heal those relationships some day).

The only thing I don't have right now is time or sleep (I sleep 5 hours a night or less most of the time, mostly because I sacrifice sleep for spending time with my girlfriend), but that'll improve gradually.

But if something bad happens in the future, I'll look back at my passions, and keep going, like a Duracell bunny...