Boy, Interrupted?

Sensitive 80's guy looking for romance, adventure, sex, philosophy, excitement! Come on in and check out the most exhibitionist guy around. I'm a straight guy with a queer eye, though I'm not rich or handsome enough to be considered a "metrosexual". Hope you find my musings entertaining, shocking, enlightening, touching, or even disgusting! Comments are well appreciated. tonton

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Location: Kennedy Town, Hong Kong

I'm a 36 year-old kid, who's just in the process of finding myself and how to balance my needs with my responsibilities.

Thursday, March 23

Let me tell you who *I* am...

"I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without- each-other love." - Carrie Bradshaw

This defines me a bit too well. I would like to say that my life has many facets, which all click together to create a structure that is solid, and rests upon a good foundation.

Well, unfortunately, love is my foundation. Not self. Not money. Not power. Not career success. Not even family. But love.

And as a foundation, love is not a very solid place to build the structure of a life. It's like building on soft, shifting sand, on a beach. It's a nice place to wiggle my toes and relax in the sun, but a home built there will either fall down for lack of support, or be washed away to sea whenever a storm hits.

And that's what keeps happening to me.

I've had my heart broken more often than most, I expect, yet I still running back out onto that beach.

Not a way to live my life.

So now I'm looking for a way to construct my structure, my home, on that beach that I value so much, but in a way that provides a solid foundation and a secure protection from the elements of disappointment.

Maybe I'm getting there. We'll have to see.

For now, this is how my beautiful beach house of a heart feels after this most recent Hurricane:

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

you sound like a romantic

12:25 pm  
Blogger tonton said...

Well, in my omnipresent egotistical state I like to think of myself as a romantic, though that doesn't seem to carry a lot of weight, especially in this day and age, where a devotion to love seems to be an undeniable sign of weakness.

Although the so-called "me" generation was supposed to have been the 80's, I think it's even worse in the 00's. It's survival of the fittest, which translates to mean the meanest, most selfish and most ruthless. In this day and age too many people think that "maturity" is the ability to trudge through the path of life without regard or regret for they way they treat others. Sacrifice is sacrelige. Compromise is demise. Those who attempt to be kind lose. The romantic are the immature.

4:24 pm  

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